Punch&Spice
by Queen-of-Earth
Summary: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned in life: It goes on”- Tony Stark, Iron Man. Or a reincanator wonders why she was reborn into a crossover fanfiction and cries a little inside.


**Disclaimer: I don't own One Punch Man or Shokegeki no Sōma so don't sue. I do own all OC's used in this story so no stealing.**

**Your Only Warning: death, gore, heavy swearing, heavy violence, mental health issues, moral dilemmas, and possibly more**

Chapter 00

Once upon a time there lived a girl. Her name was Anna.

Anna was a completely average young woman over the age of eighteen with absolutely nothing special or defining about her. She graduated from high school with average grades and decided she wanted to work more than she wanted to go to school. So she spent the next few years of her life working in a favorite local restaurant. First as a waitress and later as the hostess.

She couldn't sing particularly well and only played the radio. She didn't enjoy playing sports or watching them either. If anyone asked her what was her favorite past time was Anna would reply reading or watching stuff on her phone. Her favorite thing in the world was anything related to Marvel and it was a unanimous agreement that her worst habit was -unless she was working- that she swore worse than a sailor. And even though she worked in a restaurant there was never a need for her to learn to cook anything really fancy nor did she have any desire to try.

In fact if you asked anyone who knew Anna then that was her main problem.

Anna never wanted to try.

There wasn't anything in the world that had ever motivated her. In her mind she had everything she needed and could get anything she wanted. She had a decent job that she didn't hate, a roof over her head, good food, access to WiFi , and a phone.

She had everything she needed. While she enjoyed reading or watching grand adventures and often imagined herself having her own, even Anna herself knew she would never survive. Let the fictional characters do the work, right?

Yes, Anna was content with how her life was going.

At least that's what she thought.

————

Once upon a time there was a little girl. Her name was Dashi. Yes, like the soup stock.

Dashi was five years old and lived in B City with her mom, dad, and twin brother. She went to kindergarten like every other child her age, where she absorbed all the knowledge her teachers gave her like a sponge and made new friends and was a completely normal child. She liked to sing and help her parents in the kitchen. She wasn't a picky eater and her favorite pastime was playing with her brother.

She was endlessly curious and combined with a child's natural fearlessness led to some interesting situations much to her teachers and parents dismay. Like that time she wanted to know what it looked like above the panels in the ceiling and the school had to call the fire department to get her out.

Mom and Dad sighed, the teachers had mini heart attacks, and her brother just laughed.

Her family owned a little restaurant and Dashi already knew that someday she wanted to work there, side by side with her brother. They might not be very good cooks now but Dashi and her brother made a promise to each other to become the best cooks ever! Their parents already let them help out, how hard could it be?

This little girl had her whole life ahead of her and the whole world in front of her and she couldn't wait to see all of it.

————

_How the hell did this happen? _Dashi was so done. _Why can things never be fucking simple anymore? _How did her life devolve from a superhero parody manga with a side of cooking into a plotless Seinen/martial arts/action Manhwa?

The shark/octopus _(Sharktopus?!?) _monster grinned, displaying rows of razor teeth as he(?) slithered onto the platform. Nii-San, Hayama-kun, and Kurokiba-San slowly backed away as the monster continued its advance towards them. The monsters guarding the exits cackled and jeered at the panicking students.

Dashi carefully tested the weight of the meat cleaver in her right hand as her other hand continued to text HELP on her phone to all of her contacts as quickly as she with only her thumb.

Hopefully she she would be able to hold the monsters off until someone came to back her up. Though how she was going to fight off at least twenty monsters at once while keeping 200-something students from getting seriously injured or worse killed was still kind of up in the air. It didn't matter that most of them were only tiger level threats, Dashi was the only pro hero at Totsuki and Chandra's Room was just to big for her to cover by herself.

Nakiri Senzaemon and Doujima Gin were being restrained by a pair of massive cyclops looking monsters while Nakiri Leonora was held by a monster that looked like a demonic Lumiere, so she wasn't going to get any help from them. Which made the situation suck even more because Senzaemon and Gin were the only ones at Tōtsuki who had any combat training and had a chance of successfully protecting the civilians.

(Granted they were low to mid B-Rank at best, but working together they could successfully take at least a few of those monsters.)

Sharktopus reached the center of the platform while the boys slowly edged their way down and away from the man eating tentacle monster.

The grin on the monsters face somehow became wider as he reveled in the terror surrounding him. "Ladies and gentlemen," Sharktopus bellowed in a weirdly upbeat and preppy voice, instantly gaining the undivided attention of everyone present, though it was probably mostly because of his 'why does he sound like an overly happy radio host?' voice than anything else. "We are the Monster Association and I welcome you to our debut! I am Octoshark and I will be the MC for this event!"

So Sharktopus (Octoshark what a stupid name) really was an MC? Not the weirdest thing Dashi had ever seen but still, what the fuck?

"At this very moment," Sharktopus continued, "the rest of my fellow monsters will be commencing a coordinated attack against the Hero Association and all major cities on the Continent!"

What? Dashi froze.

Sharktopus slowly turned until he found the person he had been covertly searching for. His grin somehow turned more sinister as he locked eyes with the girl who had become a thorn in the Monster Association's side since before her debut as a hero. "The main focus of today's performance: annihilate the top ten of the B and A-Rank heroes!"

"Yukihira-San!" Hayama suddenly yelled. Dashi tore her horror filled eyes away from the shark monster to look towards the Autumn Election finalists who were still trying to find a safe way to get out of the arena.

And her heart stopped.

————

**A/N: Well here it, this sites first Shokugeki no Sōma and One Punch Man fanfiction crossover that no one asked for. Good luck to me figuring out the timeline. The hell was I thinking?**

**Question: Would like long chapters with longer waits or short chapters with shorter waits?**


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